My only occasional nightmare (once or twice a year) involves my ex wife.

We were married for over three years.

It took two months from filing for the divorce to be final.

After the first three months of our marriage, her dark side started to come out

and worsened over time until we finally separated.

While we were apart she had a nervous breakdown.

I talked to her psychiatrist and found out her troubles went back to her parent's divorce when she was six.

She blamed herself for the divorce, which wasn't true.

Mental illness can fester and grow over time if not treated.

We've been divorced for over 35 years, but I still have dreams about the experiences. My nightmares have a common theme:

I'm still married to her and I'm continually trying to get away from her.

I suppose it all goes back to her coming after me with a butcher's knife when I confronted her about her drug use and infidelity.

Some past nightmares are deeply rooted.

Fortunately, mine go away when I awaken.

~

The only time a man will complain about getting too much head is when it concerns his beer.

~

At the family reunion I spied Grandma Jones, the matriarch of our family,

sitting alone and giggling.

I wandered over and asked her what amused her.

She looked up and smiled, then told me:

"If I hadn't gotten laid, none of this would be happening right now."

I smiled, gave her a hug and walked away...

smiling myself at her truth.

~

My last cheap toaster cost me $10.00.

Cheap now costs $15.00.

Same toaster, higher price.

~

42024

42124

42224

42324

42524

42624

42724

42824

42924

~

I'm still good looking.

I must be -

every time I go to the store the cashier checks me out.

Put in a new faucet in the kitchen and a new sink in the bathroom.

My knees and back are killing me!

~

My heart is not broken,

but it has been on weak knees often.

~

The next time you dislike you life, remember it's all about perspective.

I have a friend who reads 2-3 books a week,

works out twice a day,

has no financial worries and has people who want to have sex with him all the time.

And yet he constantly complains about how much he hates prison.

~

I wanted to say something pithy today.

And then I thought - just what exactly does pithy mean?

So I looked it up.

I'm not going to tell you the definition, you can look that up if you want to know.

At that moment, you will know that I have indeed said something pithy today.

~