I'm not a cop, but will you please just go ahead and spread 'em? Got cuffs? I will search you really well for any contraband, since I am feeling so frisky. I may have to run you in for warrants, like, breaking laws of attraction,  reckless behavior, being smoking hot in a "NO SMOKING" section, and other crimes of passion. Do you think you can get your way out of a ticket? I may need some help with some undercover work, or finding a new backup piece. Just doing my job, ma'am, to serve and protect. I'm going to let you slide. . I'm not a doctor,  but I'm willing to take a look at it...kiss it and make it all better for you...we can settle up somehow. Breast exams are always free. I have the best bedside manor, and my equipment is only cold by request. Open up and say "Ahhhhhh ". All my patients feel wonderful after every appointment. I think it is because of the vitamin D injection. Take 2 or 3 as needed, and call me in the morning. B) Don't worry about insurance or copayments or anything...I'm sure that we can work something out. I'm not a professor,  but I am adept at teaching you the real difference between sugar and Sweet N Low. I also have an intense geography lesson on French and Australian kisses that is 'edge of your seat ', toe curling education at its finest. I tend to grade on the curve,  butt extra credit is a possibility. I'm certain we can work something out.  Who will be "head" of the class? Teacher's pet? Bad girls are held after class...indefinitely...to bang (erasers). I am an amazing handyman,  a craftsman and artist and semiprofessional therapeutic and erotic/sensual masseuse. I can straighten our your plumbing, since I know how to lay pipe right. The electricity is not a problem,  because I know where the sparks are supposed to be and how to flick switches and press buttons. Laying wood is my specialty, on the floor,  the walls, the stairs,  any of the furniture. Once I get passed the carpet,  I will have it licked. I can handle any job you like, and won't leave until you are quite happy with my work. I have great hands and satisfaction is guaranteed. Let me know what you want done, I'll be happy to be of service,  or let you know if it's beyond my experience. I'm not scared of a challenge.