Viewing Member - beachdreamz

1. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
2. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide is that considered a hostage situation?
3. Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.
4. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
5. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
6. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
7. I went for a walk last night, and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
8. So what's the speed of dark?
9. How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dissing them anyhow?
10. After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
11. Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
12. If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
13. I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
14. Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
15. Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
16. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
17. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
19. Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
20. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
21. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
22. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
23. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
24. Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is weak?
25. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
26. Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
27. Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
28. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
29. If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
30. If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
31. What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
32. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
33. Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
34. When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!
35. Do fish get cramps after eating?
36. Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
37. Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
38. Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
39. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
40. When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
41. Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
42. Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
43. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a chair at him?
44. If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
45. Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
46. Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
47. Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
48. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
49. Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
50. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
51. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
52. What do little birdies see when they get knocked xxxxxxxxxxx?
53. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
54. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
55. Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
56. Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
57. Do married people live longer than single people, or does it just SEEM longer?
58. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
59. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
60. Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?
61. War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.

She says don't stare at me
She's afraid that I might see
Those 5 extra pounds she talks about
I don't know what she's talking about

She looks through magazines
With every page she dreams of
Looking like somebody else
I wish she wasn't so hard on herself

Then she falls asleep with just my t-shirt on
But even when her hair's messed up and her make-up's gone

You can't hide Beautiful
You can't hide wonderful
There's nothing that she has to do
It just comes natural
She makes it look easy
I love what she does to me
No way to disguise
The way that she shines
You can't hide beautiful

How to meet a Mermaid...You go down to the bottom of the sea, where the water isn’t even blue anymore, and the sky is only a memory. And you float there, in the silence. And you stay there. And you decide that you’ll die for them. Only then do they start coming out. They come, and they greet you, and they judge the love you have for them. If it’s sincere, if it’s pure, they’ll be with you, and take you away forever…

Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. ~and there are many nn footprints on my heart believe me~
To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others, use your heart. ~ LOL hmmmm true...hands work on yourself too~
Anger is only one letter short of danger.~too true~
Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. ~guess being average is good~
He, who loses money, loses much; He, who loses a friend, loses much more; He, who loses faith, loses all. ~can't get much closer to the truth here~
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.~but Beach sure likes to try and prove this theory wrong...daily~
Friends, you and me .... You brought another friend. And then there were 3 .... We started our group(NN!!!) ..... Our circle of friends .... There is no beginning .... There is no end ... Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.

Just a quick shout too all the super amazing people I met and have grown to love (or tolerate) on NN. There are way too many to list~ Have a Happy Nude Year and All the best in 2( o )( o )5!
Love Beach

[url]http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/80s_quiz.asp[/url]

Leading her unto the floor, they meet in the middle of the blanket, on their knees. She rested her head on his shoulder and he brought her in closer. He gazed down at her, brushing a hair from her forehead. She ran her hand up the back of his neck, with a little pressure. He lowered his head, covering her mouth gently with his, as he tightened his arms, caressing her back. She sighed and smoothed her hands over his back.
He smiled down at her, trailing his finger down her cheek, softly and lingering. Then he hooked his knuckles under her chin and lifted her face. His breath was light on her lips, and when his lips touched hers it was a gentleness she had never felt before. His warmth surrounded her and she couldn’t deny her feelings for him. He pulled the nightgown over her head and stared at her. Taking an unsteady breath, he cupped her face, kissed her again, and then easing away and cradling her head to his shoulder. Slowly he lowered their two bodies until she could feel the cool blanket on her back.
Pulling the elastic from her hair, he threaded his fingers through it, massaging her scalp as he once more kissed her. Quickly she shed him of the Santa suit, and ran her hand over his naked chest. Kissing him, she rolled him onto his back and straddled his hips.
His voice caught in his throat; so gruff she almost couldn’t make him out as, as he whispered against her lips, “ Please honey –not so fast”.
“Shhhhhh!” she whispered, and then rising, she guided him into her. She felt him respond, his body tensing as she settled her weight on him. Gasping for air, he tightened his arms around her, molding her close against him. Slowly she began to work her magic on him, wanting him to feel a great pleasure.
Holding his face firm with her hands, she held him in place as she moved against him, her mouth brushing his lightly. His breath became even more uneven, and he whispered her name, locking her hips against his as he tried to make her still. Still she continued to tease and yet please him. The more he resisted the firmer she became, imploring him to surrender to her.
Drawing a deep breath, he dragged his hands up her back, releasing his hold on her hips. She started going deeper and faster on his shaft. A tremor went through his body and she felt him struggle to hold on. Finally she felt him surrender, and she felt a rush of emotion know she had caused that. She drove herself deeper and deeper on him, wanting to give him all she had. Kissing him with all she had inside her, he shuddered again and twisted beneath her, his words slurring, “Mandi--- God----“
She rose up, drawing him with her and held him there, suspended in time. Leaning back she let him enjoy the full view of him inside her as she arched her back, making him climax. Moaning his name she let go seconds later joining him in the sweetest feeling of complete exhaustion there is.

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore

…Hearing bells ringing she reached to hit the snooze button once again on her alarm clock. It was no use though she just kept hearing them. Now a warm breeze was whispering against her cheek. Opening one eye to see what was going on she gazed into the warm eyes of the man who made her feel like no other ever had before. Smiling she opened her other eye and gasped. He was dressed in a Santa costume! How had she not noticed that?
Leaning in close he brushed the hair from her eyes and kissed her softly. It wasn’t long before the kisses got hotter and deeper. Sighing he pulled away and told her to get up he had a surprise for her. Shaking her head she told him that his being there was surprise enough, not that she was complaining. Stretching she realized that she was naked and quickly her mind went back to the night before in the hot tub, then him carrying her into the cabin once he had regained enough strength to get them there.
She starts to pull up the sheet but he grabbed her wrist gently and tells her she is breathtaking and she doesn’t need to hide from him. Kissing her on the top of her head he leaves the room.
Quickly she dresses and heads out to see the surprise. When she gets to the living room of the cabin she is speechless. There in the corner by the fireplace is a Christmas tree...fully decorated. Under the tree there were even a few gifts. “How did you do this?” she asked. “A man needs some secrets,” he tells her. Taking her hand he sits her down on the couch and then walks over to the tree and turns the lights on, and comes back with a gift for her. Blushing she looks at him. “I can’t accept these,” she tells him. “I don’t have anything else for you.”
“Well actually these aren’t for you exactly. They are for us.” Grinning wickedly at her he puts the present in her lap. Opening up the first one she finds lots of great smelling candles. After she smells them he takes them and places them around the room lighting them. Handing her another gift she opens it to find a box of big, fluffy iced cinnamon rolls. Opening the box he takes one and breaks off a piece, and offers it to her. Leading her hand to her mouth she takes the pastry and eats it. Still holding his hand, she brings it back to her lips and licks the sugar off, sucking lightly. He groans and closes his eyes. Breaking another piece off she takes her turn to feed him. They continue sensuously eating until the cinnamon roll is gone. Taking his face in her hands she kissed the sugar off his lips and tastes the cinnamon.
Passing her another present she opens the box to find the most amazing black, silk nightgown she has ever seen. He pulls her up off the couch and slips the robe off her body and into a puddle on the floor. Slowly he dresses her in the nightgown caressing her entire body as he slides it into place.
Finally he places the last gift on her lap, a fairly big box. Inside is an amazing fluffy white duvet. She pulls it from the box and cuddles into it. Wrapping his arms around her and the blanket he kisses her forehead and tells her even though cuddling is nice he has a better idea. Slipping the blanket from her body he spreads it out on the floor in front of the Christmas tree. Then turning off all the lights, the room is in darkness except those on the tree and the flames from the candles.
Leading her unto the floor, they meet in the middle of the blanket, on their knees...
to be continued

She couldn’t wait to get to the cabin she had rented for the holidays. Even though at one time she had loved Christmas now all she wanted was to be away where she could be unhappy without others seeing her. She had been seeing him for a month now and she knew she couldn’t expect him to leave his family to spend the holiday with her. Instead she had bought him a few things, which she had delivered to him the night before. For some reason thought he had seemed distracted and she couldn’t help but wonder if he was losing interest in her. The Christmas gift he had given her didn’t help, even though she couldn’t help wonder if she got what she deserved for opening it as soon as she left him. I mean what was the purpose of string bikini in the winter. Sighing she parked the car and got out.
Distracted she grabbed her bag from the trunk and walked up to the door of the cabin. Inserting the key she unlocked then opened the door. As she walked in she gasped and near fainted as she saw someone sitting in the chair. Quickly he realized he scared her and came towards her, reassuring her. Regaining her composure she smacked him for scaring her and asked him what he was doing there. Slowly smiling at her he told her, “Did you think I was going to let you spend Christmas by yourself?”
“You ass!” she exclaimed. “What about your family? Won’t they miss you?” So many things were running through her head she couldn’t think straight. “Don’t worry about me,” he told her. “Just know that we have a full week here, with no where to go or nothing to worry about.”
“Now, with that being said, let’s start our holidays Babe” he grinned at her. “Go put on your present.” She glared at him, “Hello! It’s…” she stuttered and realized she had been caught. Blushing she looked at him and he laughed at her. “Hun, you are predictable. I was expecting you to do that. Now go change.”
“I don’t understand.” She replied. “Just go!” he swatted her on the ass. Totally confused she headed to the bedroom and found the bikini and changed. When she came back out she felt a breeze shooting through the French doors. She walked over to shut them then blinked her eyes as she looked outside. What looked like a million candles were lit all over every available inch and in the middle of it all was a hot tub.
Coming from behind her she heard him whistle at her. Turning around, still in shock she faced him. “Wow!” was all she could manage to say. Slipping his arm around her, they walked over to the hot tub, the snow on the ground biting into their skin. Quickly they entered the bubbling water and sank down into the moist haven. Sighing she looked at him in total amazement wondering how he had pulled it off. But she didn’t even really care at that moment. Closing her eyes she let the water massage her back and take all the tension away. Without even realizing it she moaned out load. Once again blushing she opened her eyes and looked at him. “Come here,” he rasped. Crossing the hot tub she came closer to him as he reached out his arms and pulled her in. Sitting her on his lap, he ran his hand up her arm, over her shoulders and up her neck until his hand was cupping her face. Moving towards her he begins to kiss her, going slowly and leisurely. She wraps her arms around his neck and brings them even closer. Suddenly their pace changes and the kisses become insistent and arousing. His hand slips behind her neck to massage the knots away. With great attention he unties the string and pulls the top down, exposing her. She gasps as the cold winter air hits her sensitive nipples. Scooping up some of the water from the tub he lets it dribble down on to her. Leaning back she gives him full access to her breasts and he begins to suckle them. Moaning even louder now she feels his erection start to grow. Submerging her hand under the water, she slides into his shorts. Clamping her hand over his growing hardness she runs her hand slowly up and down, teasing him.

Suddenly he stands up and pulls the shorts off. Standing there totally nude, with an impressive hard on and totally comfortable in his own body. She tried to look up at him but she couldn’t quite seem to get her eyes to go that high. Taking her hand he pulled her up so she was standing in his arms. Deeply and passionately he kissed her, making the outside world fade away. Finally when he realized she was shivering from the cold he turned her around and nudged her closer to the side of the tub. He bent her over so that her hands were resting on the tubs edge and her ass was stuck up somewhat. Hooking a finger in either side of her bikini bottom he pulled the wet material done her legs and allowed her step out of them. Once again placing one hand on her hip, he used his other finger to trace down her slit. She was so aroused she pushed against his hand urging him into her. But instead he continued to make little lines and patterns, driving her crazy. With lust over taking him he put both his hands on her hips. With one thrust he rammed into her, rocking her to the core. She adjusted herself to fit him. With him there were no half measures or slowly easing into her tonight. When he took her, he took her completely, burying him self deep inside her.
Her moisture cushioned him and she never felt so complete as she did at that moment. No other guy had ever made her feel like this. Then he began to move, each thrust lifting her a little from the water. With one hand on her hip now, caressing softly, he set the pace. Sliding on hand to her front he found her breast and began toying with it, lightly pulling on the nipple. She was so hot and ready for him that she went wild. Bracing her arms on the wall of the hot tub she pushed back every time he thrust into her making him go deeper and longer each time. Finally she came, crying out into the night. Flipping her over so that her elbows were on the ledge he spread her legs open and began hammering into her. His large hands brought her hips up to meet him on every thrust. She felt him go tense and saw the strain on his face. Realizing she had brought him to this point she began yet another orgasm, which made her tighten even more over his cock. With one more thrust he drove into her groaning as if in pain. The power of the release shook his shoulders as he collapsed on top of her. She wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled his neck. Without saying a word he sank into the water and pulled her once again on top of him…………….
To Be Continued