Did you know that your self esteem issues can stem from your parents, both directly and indirectly?

Some parents are straight out nasty and tell you to either put it away or that you don't look good, those are the obvious ones.

The more insidious types are the parents who are unaware that their OWN self esteem issues directly affect their kids.

For example, my mum was a firm believer in making me feel relaxed about my body and always told me I'm beautiful. But if I ever told her she was or whenever I was around when someone gave her a compliment, she would get uncomfortable or shrug it off. It's a shame because she is beautiful and should see it.

So combine social stigma about the "type" of body you have with parents who truly think they are ugly and you have the perfect cocktail for self esteem issues in your own life.

So even though mum was sweet and told me, all I ever saw was her hating on herself, and I learned the same patterning in the behaviour, which is so much harder to break than saying the words.

So remember if you have kids, you gotta love yourself, or they'll learn your behaviours way quicker than they'll listen to the words you say, good intentions or no.

I have struggled with body issues my entire life, having my mother's behaviour demonstrative of depreciating herself constantly, plus kids are really fuckin mean in school and always told me I was horrible and fat and nobody liked me, and the magazines showing glossy starved tall leggy women with next to no boobs or any flaws.

Now, I don't care that I'm a bit chubby, I like having tits and an ass to grab, I am teaching myself to see beauty rather than the blemish that came up coz I ate pizza last night or drank too much and I count my lucky stars I have got limbs, fingers, toes, hair and all my senses are relatively functional.


BREAK FREE OF THE STEREOTYPES AND IMPOSSIBLE BEAUTY BENCHMARKS. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME. Even if you're a fossil nudie

Love nat xxx

I have never had a blog before. So there's usually a lot going on in my head. Soooo I guess my first subject would be to do with age gaps and the stigmas around knowing people younger or older than you. I find that as a young woman (not that young, I mean I'm 25, quart of a century, not kiddin myself here) I like talking to older men and women, they have got a certain perspective that I honestly think just comes with being around for a while. Don't get me wrong, I've seen first hand some older people that never really progressed past 18 in their minds, like watching kids playing adults, only with real jobs and more potential to cause pain and make terrible decisions. And the saddest part is they aren't even conscious of what is happening, where the feelings and thoughts and decisions are coming from. As children we see things definitively. You might make an assumption about something, but for the rest of your life you will carry it around and it will affect your decisions and relationships in some way. But because you were a child, it's so far buried under years of memory that you don't even notice it. It's just there. I'm digressing. I do that alot. Age gaps. We shouldn't be so worried about how old someone is. You can learn so much either way. My 2 year old niece teaches me lessons, and from those lessons I have practiced letting go of pride, because that stops us seeing the gift of knowledge from someone younger or "Beneath" us. In the same sense that my friends of 50+ teach me more than I could have hoped to know, because they aren't being paid for it, there's no obligations, they just share info, and perspective is gained. Word of mouth is powerful. I have a friend who can't believe that I like him, just because he's more than twice my age. I don't think he's a doddering fool, his mind is sharp as they come, and I appreciate that. But I hear whispers of it being strange, that maybe I have daddy issues or something. Well, if I was sucking his dick maybe I would have daddy issues, and anywho, who the hell are they to judge me? Everyone's got issues. So why not just talk to as many people as you can? People are always gonna whisper and jape and carry on because we all love our gossip and bullshit and stereotypes. It all helps us cope. But it doesn't have to stop you if you're curious about someone and you wanna pick their brains. It may be the most interesting conversation you ever have. Or the most boring. Who's to say? Turns out the guy is really genuine and a little bit perverted, but everyone is, we were built for sex if nothing else. No point beating around the bush ahaahaha, pun intended. Anyways, messy rant over, and I'm sorry if I made you pass out or think, holy shit she's fuckin crazy, that's ok. I don't mind. I just wanted to see what the fuss was all about in blogging and have somewhere that I could just type shit and see what happens. So, people who may or may not have managed to read through this whole thing, what happens?

Nat out