The title says it all, really lol. Doug Walker and Tamara Chambers deliver the funniest Frozen satire yet...

Alright, here come my thoughts on Les Miserables. Get ready, this is gonna be long lol...

Ok, let me get this out of the way first. I wasn't exactly thrilled with the fact that some lyrics were changed from the stage show. Don't get me wrong, some of the changes were good, but what I hated were the changes (and omissions) that ruined rhymes. Rent had a few too but not nearly as many as in this film. So yeah, there were a few points where I just groaned at how the rhythm of the song was thrown off by the non-rhyme.

Ok, that being said, Hugh Jackman is AMAZING as Valjean. I seriously think he could play the part onstage.

Russel Crowe was everything I thought he'd be as Javert and less.

Having a scene between Valjean & Javert before "The Runaway Cart" was an interesting addition.

Anne Hathaway was brilliant as Fantine. And I actually like that they moved "I Dreamed A Dream" to after "Lovely Ladies", it's honestly much more effective, & I'd like to see future stage productions adopt this change.

Ok, "The Confrontation", as soon as Javert pulled out his sword & I realized he & Valjean were going to dual during the song, my mind went "Oh, sweet Jesus, no!", but you know what? They pulled it off & I was impressed.

"Master Of The House" was one of the biggest highlights for me, Sasha Baron Cohen NAILED Thenardier. Just two words: "Oh, Santa!" had me laughing very hard. Also the customers staring at an embarrassed Thenardier's crotch after Madame sings the line "But there's not much there"

The chase through Paris was an interesting addition. I mean looking back at other movie musicals, it wasn't as jarring a change as say, the commitment ceremony in Rent or that damn graveyard sword-fight in Phantom Of The Opera. But that does create the problem of why Cossette is so curious as an adult as to why Valjean is so secretive. I mean, she was being chased by Javert with him so obviously she'd know that he has some sort of criminal past.

Ok, Eddie Redmayne, I'm sorry but I was a little disappointed. Not the best Marius I've ever heard (but certainly not the worst, I'm looking at you, Nick Jonas!)

Aaron Tveit was an amazing Enjolras.

Samantha Barks, I loved her as Eponine in the 25th Anniversary concert, & I loved her here too. The whole time during "On My Own", I was just thanking all that is holy that Taylor Swift didn't get the part.

Now I must address "One Day More". In the months leading up to the movie's release, I first worried that the song would be cut, & then when I learned it would be included, I worried how they'd pull it off. It was perfect. PERFECT! And it brought me back to Rent & made me sad that Columbus didn't even bother to attempt to film "Christmas Bells". With "One Day More", this movie proved that you CAN have musical numbers with more than two locations (since he did include "What You Own" in a movie. "Without Love" from Hairspray proved the same thing but not nearly to the same scale.

One of my least favorite additions was Marius threatening to blow up the barricade during the first attack. Where the hell did that come from?!

It was nice to finally have "A Little Fall Of Rain" actually include rain.

I hated that "Drink With Me" was shortened so badly. "Turning", & "Beggar At The Feast" too, for that matter.

Gavroche's death scene was very hard to watch, especially considering recent events. But on that note, I did like the little touch of cutting to the soldier who shot him with a look of remorse on his face.

Even though I knew ahead of time that "Dog Eats Dog" was completely cut, I was disappointed, I would've loved to hear Sasha Baron Cohen sing it.

As much as I hated Russel Crowe's performance, I was genuinely surprised by how much I liked his take on "Javert's Suicide"

And even though I didn't appreciate "Beggar At The Feast" being cut down, I loved the way it was staged.

And the ending was just beautiful.

Ahh, November, which means the time of year known as the Holiday Clusterfuck is in full swing (listen to this song, trust me, it'll help you start your day with a laugh or two...)



It’s the Holiday Clusterfuck
Holiday Clusterfuck
Citizens gather together to run amok
Bucks flying everywhere
Folks pulling out their hair
People are waving
While paying with great despair
If we don’t fill winter with dollar bills
Then your depression peaks on top
We’d rather have stress
Than to be real depressed
So we all shop until we drop

Malls crowded every place
Nowhere a parking space
Everyone’s screaming “Get your ass out of my face!”
Buying kids cheap costumes
Lines in all the bathrooms
Paying a fortune
Extortion’s now in full bloom
People are shoving
While claiming they're loving
That holiday joy they feel
And your kids feel that joy
If you buy the right toy
So, better keep your eyes peeled

Holiday Clusterfuck
Holiday Clusterfuck
Citizens gather together to run amok
Antiques and Christmas cups
Suicide rates go up
Kids whining “Buy me a robotic psycho pup!”
Holidays jumble
Three months is a bundle
To handle with grace and ease
We must make a living
So, piss off Thanksgiving
And jump straight to Christmas please

Going, going, and gone
Change decorations out on your front lawn
Losing that magical touch
Seeing your in-laws three times is too much
“Trick or treat?” “Merry Christmas!”
Going to church for your annual mass
Kwanzaa, Chanukah too
Best get it right, someone’s liable to sue!

Holiday Clusterfuck
Holiday Clusterfuck
Millions of billions find they’re just shit out of luck
Visiting Santa’s crib
Lying straight to your kids
Pray they don’t need therapy for your tiny fib
This shit comes earlier
Seems almost every year
Making us spend away
Christmas, if we voted
Should not be promoted
Right after St. Patrick’s Day!

Christmas and Halloween
Thanksgiving’s in between
Putting on more weight than Shamu on Lean Cuisine
Snow falling everywhere
Traffic’s a real nightmare
Can’t wait for Summer
A bummer!
We’re kind of scared
Emotions flying
Our patience is dying
What happened to all our cheer?
We whisk money away
Until Valentine’s Day
Thank God it’s just once a year!

Holiday TV specials
Watching Santa Claus and Jesus wrestle
Sending out Christmas cards, too
Wishing good cheer to folks you hardly knew

It’s the Holiday...
The Holiday...
Holiday Clusterfuck
Holiday Clusterfuck
When did this time of year
Full of cheer
Start to suck?
Someone cut us a break
Help us, for heaven’s sake!
We’re frowning
While drowning!
Please, God, no more fruitcakes!
It lasts a while
So, put on your smiles
Don’t let them know how you feel
We all have to fake it
So, shut up and take it
And chow on your Christmas meal
It’s the Holiday...
The Holiday... Clusterfuck!

NOTE: These lyrics are copyrighted to Mr Doug Walker of TGWTG.com, (C) 2009

Ladies?

Age:
SEX:
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Favorite Position?
Lights on or off?
Naked or clothed?
Socks, shoes, or bare feet?
Hard, Soft or all of the above?
Anal? Yes or no
Do you like to give oral?
Spit or swallow?
Do you like your nipples to be played with?
Pinched?
Sucked?
Licked?

MASTURBATION:
How often do you masturbate?
What is your preferred method of doing so?
Is it easy for you to bring yourself to orgasm?
How old were you when you first masturbated yourself to orgasm?
Do you like to be naked while masturbating?
Have you ever masturbated in front of someone of the opposite sex?
Have you ever masturbated in front of someone of the same sex?
Have you ever watched someone else of the opposite sex masturbate?
Have you ever watched someone of the same sex masturbate?
Have you ever tasted your own juices?
If so, did you like it?

BODY:
How do you trim (or not) your pubes? (ie, Au Naturale, totally shaved, patch on top, shaved underneath, landing strip, etc)
What color hair do you have down there?
Any genital or nipple piercings?

CYBERSEX:
Ever had cyber with a person of the opposite sex?
Same sex?
Ever masturbated while someone watched you on a webcam?
if so, was it someone of the same sex or opposite?
Ever watched someone else masturbate on a webcam?
if so, was it someone of the same sex or opposite?
Ever traded dirty pictures with someone over the 'net?

FETISHES:
Do any of the following turn you on?
Role Playing
Being spanked
spanking a partner
having your toes sucked
sucking someone's toes
being tied up
tying someone up
hardore S & M

Anything you wanna add?

It’s the Holiday Clusterfuck

Holiday Clusterfuck

Citizens gather together to run amok

Bucks flying everywhere

Folks pulling out their hair

People are waving

While paying with great despair

If we don’t fill winter with dollar bills

Then your depression peaks on top

We’d rather have stress

Than to be real depressed

So we all shop until we drop

Malls crowded every place

Nowhere a parking space

Everyone’s screaming “Get your ass out of my face!”

Buying kids cheap costumes

Lines in all the bathrooms

Paying a fortune

Extortion’s now in full bloom

People are shoving

While claiming they're loving

That holiday joy they feel

And your kids feel that joy

If you buy the right toy

So, better keep your eyes peeled

Holiday Clusterfuck

Holiday Clusterfuck

Citizens gather together to run amok

Antiques and Christmas cups

Suicide rates go up

Kids whining “Buy me a robotic psycho pup!”

Holidays jumble

Three months is a bundle

To handle with grace and ease

We must make a living

So, piss off Thanksgiving

And jump straight to Christmas please

Going, going, and gone

Change decorations out on your front lawn

Losing that magical touch

Seeing your in-laws three times is too much

“Trick or treat?” “Merry Christmas!”

Going to church for your annual mass

Kwanzaa, Chanukah too

Best get it right, someone’s liable to sue!

Holiday Clusterfuck

Holiday Clusterfuck

Millions of billions find they’re just shit out of luck

Visiting Santa’s crib

Lying straight to your kids

Pray they don’t need therapy for your tiny fib

This shit comes earlier

Seems almost every year

Making us spend away

Christmas, if we voted

Should not be promoted

Right after St. Patrick’s Day!

Christmas and Halloween

Thanksgiving’s in between

Putting on more weight than Shamoo on Lean Cuisine

Snow falling everywhere

Traffic’s a real nightmare

Can’t wait for Summer

A bummer!

We’re kind of scared

Emotions flying

Our patience is dying

What happened to all our cheer?

We whisk money away

Until Valentine’s Day

Thank God it’s just once a year!

Holiday TV specials

Watching Santa Claus and Jesus wrestle

Sending out Christmas cards, too

Wishing good cheer to folks you hardly knew

It’s the Holiday...

The Holiday...

Holiday Clusterfuck

Holiday Clusterfuck

When did this time of year

Full of cheer

Start to suck?

Someone cut us a break

Help us, for heaven’s sake!

We’re frowning

While drowning!

Please, God, no more fruitcakes!

It lasts a while

So, put on your smiles

Don’t let them know how you feel

We all have to fake it

So, shut up and take it

And chow on your Christmas meal

It’s the Holiday...

The Holiday... Clusterfuck!

NOTE: These lyrics are copyrighted to Mr Doug Walker of TGWTG.com, (C) 2009

Ladies?

Age:
SEX:
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Favorite Position?
Lights on or off?
Naked or clothed?
Socks, shoes, or bare feet?
Hard, Soft or all of the above?
Anal? Yes or no
Do you like to give oral?
Spit or swallow?
Do you like your nipples to be played with?
Pinched?
Sucked?
Licked?

MASTURBATION:
How often do you masturbate?
What is your preferred method of doing so?
Is it easy for you to bring yourself to orgasm?
How old were you when you first masturbated yourself to orgasm?
Do you like to be naked while masturbating?
Have you ever masturbated in front of someone of the opposite sex?
Have you ever masturbated in front of someone of the same sex?
Have you ever watched someone else of the opposite sex masturbate?
Have you ever watched someone of the same sex masturbate?
Have you ever tasted your own juices?
If so, did you like it?

BODY:
How do you trim (or not) your pubes? (ie, Au Naturale, totally shaved, patch on top, shaved underneath, landing strip, etc)
What color hair do you have down there?
Any genital or nipple piercings?

CYBERSEX:
Ever had cyber with a person of the opposite sex?
Same sex?
Ever masturbated while someone watched you on a webcam?
if so, was it someone of the same sex or opposite?
Ever watched someone else masturbate on a webcam?
if so, was it someone of the same sex or opposite?
Ever traded dirty pictures with someone over the 'net?

FETISHES:
Do any of the following turn you on?
Role Playing
Being spanked
spanking a partner
having your toes sucked
sucking someone's toes
being tied up
tying someone up
hardore S & M

Anything you wanna add?