)h0tcumm0dity's Recent Statuses
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Tue, 1-Sep-15 7:29 AM (8 years ago)
Nobody's hired me yet, so I'm going to emphasize my strengths. "Recent college grad, flexible, with what I'm told is an incredible rack". At least I'll stand out 
Thu, 9-Oct-14 8:48 PM (9 years ago)
Wandering a foreign country alone. First objective? Finding WiFi so I can sext properly.
Fierceboy likes this
Tue, 7-Oct-14 11:50 PM (9 years ago)
Today I went to Hogwarts. And drank butter beer. Amongst Muggles.
Tue, 16-Sep-14 1:08 AM (9 years ago)
What is the point of a party school that has a dry campus? All I want to do is slip some booze in my beverage during a night class and not suffer any consequences.
Wed, 18-Dec-13 7:16 AM (10 years ago)
my out of state journey yielded no presents and approximately $200 worth of alcohol.
Sun, 6-Oct-13 4:18 PM (10 years ago)
the verdict is in: he fell asleep; I suck at phone sex :/ *sigh*
Fudgeman23 likes this
Sat, 21-Sep-13 1:06 AM (10 years ago)
at this place, happy hour is 25 hours a day. some things aren't meant to be understood.
Sun, 15-Sep-13 9:19 AM (10 years ago)
the horror movie I watched really wasn't that scary. so why can't I fall asleep?
Wed, 11-Sep-13 1:49 AM (10 years ago)
days like today are the reason I'm grateful I made the choice to attend a party school.
DreamSurferSunsets likes this
you should transfer here. I could use the eye candy *kisses*
Mon, 8-Apr-13 7:29 PM (11 years ago)
was starting to rethink this day drinking thing. but now I have a valid reason to avoid taking my hypochondriac co-worker's shift.
Wed, 3-Apr-13 11:44 PM (11 years ago)
new phone is here! which means high resolution sexting photos!! 
Thu, 14-Feb-13 3:51 AM (11 years ago)
whoever is setting off fireworks right underneath my window in the middle of the afternoon better knock it off. some people are trying to sleep.
Thu, 31-Jan-13 7:49 AM (11 years ago)
apparently, I am too old to walk around my own domicile without pants on. when the fuck did THAT happen?
Wed, 26-Dec-12 10:31 AM (11 years ago)
Can't sleep. Masturbated. Got off 3 times. Drinking Malbec. Currently wasted. Sunrise in another hour. Fuck.
Fri, 23-Nov-12 9:20 AM (11 years ago)
I'm currently suffering from a bruise on a very specific part of my anatomy.
Tue, 16-Oct-12 2:33 AM (11 years ago)
went into the bathroom stall at school during my obscenely long class to take nude pics and I overheard some girl in another stall having phone sex
Tue, 14-Jun-11 8:14 AM (12 years ago)
somebody called me the Puerto Rican Jessica Rabbit. I'm not Puerto Rican but I am flattered!
Sun, 3-Apr-11 5:19 AM (13 years ago)
my panties would be slightly moist now, if I were wearing any 